OPINION: I’ve got no tolerance for food fads

I'M AS mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more.

No, it's not Brexit, the outcome of our federal election, the plight of the refugees or lack of same-sex marriage rights in Australia that has me up in arms (although all have, and no doubt will again).

It's people who sport food fads just because they can.

Now, I have every sympathy for those who have a genuine dietary problem. I've catered for diabetics, coeliacs, vegetarians and vegans at my table.

None have been a problem as, while I currently am a carnivore, I have been vegetarian in the past and I really don't eat a great deal of meat or flour these days.

Vegan can be difficult as there are occasionally hidden animal products in foods you would least expect; for example I learned last week that shiny apples are occasionally coated in shellac, which comes from the lac beetle. Quelle horreur!

And I would never knowingly serve a vegetarian or vegan an animal product as they often follow that lifestyle for moral reasons.

But these manufactured fads are nothing more than a pain in the behind.

There are plenty of them around; I went on holidays a few years ago with a friend, a vegetarian who eats seafood. Or as I like to call them, an expensive vegetarian.

She announced just before we departed on a very pricey fully catered adventure trek that she was avoiding dairy and gluten while she was away. So they bought her a nasty little gluten-free loaf of bread that looked like a brick for her morning toast, which she nibbled piously (if not with gusto) each morning.

But when the chocolate cake with cream was wheeled out, containing all the gluten and dairy she'd avoided thus far, you wouldn't have wanted to get between her and the head of the queue; she wasn't afraid to use her elbows. In other words, she chose to inconvenience the cook on nothing more than a whim.

Similarly a friend's brother tells all and sundry he is lactose intolerant, but has no trouble ploughing through a large bowl of French vanilla ice cream. He just doesn't like cheese.

Then there was the work colleague of a friend of mine who would turn up for dinner occasionally and announce to all and sundry that she was only eating apples that week. And the yachtswoman I met on a sailing trip, who had decided the day before she left that she would become a vegan. She managed to look rather mournful eating her tofu while the rest of us got stuck into slow-cooked lamb shanks.

Off to the vegetable patch with the lot of you; there's plenty of lettuce. Knock yourselves out.