We should support Bach ‘clinger’
Only some of us have been lucky enough to experience it. But heartbreak? Oh honey, we've all been there.
A broken heart comes in many forms and everybody feels its sting - no matter what the situation. Whether it's packing up a partner's things after the end of a decade-long relationship, being ghosted after three life-changingly amazing dates or finding out the one you want doesn't want you back ... it hurts.
That's why I find the current online hate for 'stage five clinger' Cass a little unnecessary ... because we are all lying if we say we haven't been that girl - or at least mopped up the waterfall of tears from a friend who has.
Let's take a look at Cass.
Young, healthy, beautiful, former Miss World Australia Finalist - a woman who is clearly winning at life. So why is she struggling so much when it comes to Nick?
Her confidence is low, she seems desperate to hang on … what has happened in this girl's dating past that has caused her to form an attachment this way?
Cass is from Sydney's Northern Beaches
For those unfamiliar with this NSW area, picture a place where coastal living meets affluence, populated with a lot of tanned, young, beautiful people. I grew up where the Bachelor mansion is located, about an hour inland, but spent a lot of my early drinking age years on that same Northern Beaches scene.
This is absolutely not the case for everybody who lives there - but personally I felt a big lean toward the "love 'em and leave 'em" type attitude when it came to dating in the north. There were a lot of buff, cute boys out in big sexy groups, sleeves rolled up, hair just so ... easy to grab a pash and dash, a little harder to form a lasting connection.
I know nothing about Cass or her dating history, but it really feels like she's been a regular receiver of the leave 'em end of the stick - a gorgeous, blue-eyed, blonde with a great body who would immediately turn heads as she walked into a room.
But what's hard for those head-turning girls is finding someone who wants them for who they are, not just how they look in their crop top on the dancefloor. Which means Cass runs the risk of developing feelings for someone who doesn't like her back - hello Honey Badger.
You might have one of these stunners in your group (heck, I think you're all stunners) or you might be that girl yourself, exasperated after constantly putting yourself out there time after time, and getting nothing in return. Some of us gain a strength in ourselves and keep trying, some of us pack it in and cry into our doonas, and some of us develop blinders - women like Cass who understand they're a catch on paper, but aren't able to read the signals when it comes to real life.
So what do we do with a friend like Cass?
We bring this lost soul into our circle and we give her her goddamn confidence back. We remind her she's a strong, independent person, tell her she's beautiful inside and out and make sure she knows that she's enough - with or without a man.
Then we all slam 12 tequila shots and dance to Destiny's Child in the lounge room before getting back out there - together.
In one episode, it looked like Brittany had Cass' back - yet the other ladies continued to mock her, which is totally not cool. How are we as women supposed to get ahead when we spend all of our energy trying to pull each other down? Standing on someone's back doesn't make you any taller.
There is absolutely no shame in having feelings for someone. Nor should anyone be embarrassed about wanting to share those feelings with that person. When it's not reciprocated it hurts like hell - but you did it, you put yourself out there, you felt it.
There's something achingly beautiful about unrequited love. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but how else do you know what the good love really is without first experiencing what it shouldn't be?
At the end of the day Cass is just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
If he doesn't want to, then we should instead.
- Stefanie Jackson is the Social Media Editor for whimn.com.au. Follow her on Twitter @stefmjackson