Maggie Cooper says sometimes, the names of some organisations may be a little confusing.
Maggie Cooper says sometimes, the names of some organisations may be a little confusing.

There should be more rules concerning truth in naming

I OFTEN wonder why there are not more rules concerning truth in naming - particularly where political parties are concerned.

In Australia, for example, we have various wanna-be rulers that have the word "liberal” in their names, and funnily enough most are as far removed from liberal as can possibly be. If you look the word up in the dictionary, the first definition that usually appears says "willing to respect or accept behaviour or opinions different from one's own; open to new ideas”. Hmmm.

Now, there are other parties whose names couldn't be less ambiguous such as the Shooters, Fishers and Farmers Party. It, however, gets longer each year, it seems. Soon it will be the Shooters, Fishers, Farmers, Farriers, Coopers and Candlestick Makers Party.

The other name that I challenge is that of the little groups of people that gather in small towns such as the one in which I currently reside; I refer to that often-oxymoronic committee called the progress association.

Now, lest I be found guilty of the cardinal sin of the newspaper columnist - generalisation - let me say that without a doubt, not every progress association is the same. You may have one - or indeed, belong to one - that lives up to its name and meets each month in the community hall (scones and tea provided) with the sole intention of introducing new ideas to regional areas and making them happen. And if that's the case, well done, congratulations, and please write a book explaining how you've achieved that result.

Our mob is not such an entity. Entirely made up of retirees (for obvious reasons), they pick fights and boo anyone who attends those meetings who dares have a green streak - because, as we all know, greenies are the enemy of everything (particularly progress, apparently). Our local greenies are on the receiving end of heckles and catcalls if they dare voice an opinion that champions the local flora and fauna.

We have here, at the moment, an interesting situation; our association voted to fund dog waste bags and dispensers as we live in an area where pooches are allowed at certain times on the beaches ... but the council refused to come to the party (so to speak). The money was raised through raffles and sausage sizzles, and good on them for a great idea. However, they have now decided that people are using too many bags and it's costing too much to keep the dispensers replenished. So now we have holidaymakers arriving on weekends and during the school holidays who, having visited before, expect to find bags available and don't bring their own. Result? Mounds of "by-product” on the otherwise pristine beach.

Who else would think to suspend a program because it is too successful?

The progress association, that's who.